Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Things I Hate!........Sorry, I mean things that irritate me.

Irritation abounds today, so what better thing to do than make a list. List are gay but whatever I am making a incredibly gay hate/irritate list. There is no particular order to my list but those who know me will know what would be in the top 10 if the list was numbered.

a.) I can't stand the pale white fat-a across the street that flicks his cigarette butts in the street, which of course end up in my yard. Dude walk to the trash can, the exercise will in fact not kill you nor will the sun.

b.) People in the fast lane. Just cause your speedometer shows you to be doing a whopping 2 mph over the posted limit, please live out your wild side in the right lane I am hungry and ready to be home.

c.) The dude wearing his IPOD into the grocery store. Seriously when Al Qaeda runs in the front door screaming Allah is Great!, you will be dead cause your Master P greatest hits won't allow you to hear all the comotion, and by the way the lady down the aisle is not talking about how cool you are.....she is pissed that she can't find the bean dip.

d.) Clingers....Oh gosh the clinger. What can you do for me? If you can further my status I will gladly latch on to your overpriced jeans and we can be besties for the foreseeable future or at least till the holidays are over.

e.) Mr. Monster Truck.....you crack me up! Everyone knows your over compensating with those big rims and the 8 inch lift. I will bet money that when you get out of that great big truck of yours, your legs in fact will be shorter than those of your girlfriend/wife.

f.) What is up with stay at home moms with rims on there Tahoe's. I mean really its as bad as Mr. Monster Truck in reality. Are you reaching out to your 214 roots? I mean is there a cute badge you get when you reach this historic achievement? The thing is you know they check to see if there doors are locked when they drive behind Sonic.

g.) Apple. Why is it that your not busted by the government for price fixing? Every store I go in sales your products for the exact same price. How is that even possible? Nothing else cost the exact same price everywhere you go besides something Apple makes.

h.) Off brand products... Seriously why can nothing off brand come in decent packaging. If its not a name brand you know its not going to tear along the "tear here line", and your going to be cussing for not spending the extra 10 cents to get the good one, then end up throwing it away cause the Ziploc doesn't work right and it rots.

i.) Questionable pics of your family member or there "members". No one wants to see that crap! Cover it up.

j.) Whining.......Really your the only soul on the face of the earth that is overwhelmed or had a bad day? I have had a lifetime of bad days this week, and there so hard I just want to run away and..........Oh!....wait......<----example of whining. No charge for that one.

k.) Posting messages to your spouse on Facebook. Trust me if you can't say it in person your doomed.......doomed I say. Call them they will love it.

l.) People pleasing. You know the reality is its your own fault. Learn to grow a pair and say "no". There not going to leave you out of the will or not invite you over for smores. Why is OK for you to always say "yes" and for them to always say "no". Take a stand. I need to tattoo this on my arm.

m.) This one is for Allie. OK, devoting a blog to pictures of every single day of your kids life is flippin whacked out. No one wants to see him on the pot, its not cute, its CREEPY! There going to grow up with major issues when your in there room, there 16, and your taking a picture of them when they wake up. There going to flip you off in fact. We know you think your kid is the best, you have to say your kid is phenomenal or you can't bring them home. It's like a hospital rule or something.


That is it for now. I feel much better.

You know you have a list. Post it.

3 comments:

  1. Gosh it's like you read my freaking brain or something. I totally agree with you. OK well not TOTALLY, here is where I waiver...I buy store brand just about everything. And LOVE it. In fact I wear it like a badge of honor. And if the store brand zip-lock breaks I just stick it into another store brand zip-lock baggie to ensure it's freshness. And I don't agree with the griping. I think I gripe WAY too much. ESP about mowing my yard, and traffic, when tv shows aren't on, dogs, bad clothes, hating to work-out, the weather....and I guess I'll shut-up now!

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  2. wooooo! Where is the: n.) I hate dirty houses, I hate how lazy people can be, that they can't vacuum their homes every single night you lazy mo fo's. I think it's sick, to have dishes in the sink, dirt on the floor, laundry in the hamper..grow a set and work!...peace I'm out, I'm headed to my cleaning station...

    That's what's missing...

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  3. Kfoo & Ryan Kay make me laugh!

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